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semalam, when mr anuar asked is the writing that ive written in the form is mine, i just nod and grin. heh heh. ok, its nothing much, but my writing is terabur. seriously, and when he says that its beautiful(?) i takboleh blah senyum suka. hahah ape-ape jelah.

i find this somewhat irony as right before that, i was talking to didi about how i am well....how to express this ya? hurm, maybe inferior, or envy is the word that ive felt each time i saw my old clans life in facebook.yeah, yeah, we're browsing through facebook in lab too!  the conclusion that can be made from our conversation is that everyone has their own strength and weakness and though you might see the crazy happy faces,  we'll never know their problem. so, comparing yourself to them is somewhat like comparing a kg of strawberry and a kg of banana.

to start it off with, though banana and strawberry are both buah-buahan, still, both are differs in their own way, isnt it? sizes, taste,how it is planted, the fertilizer used,etc.  as in this situation  if my clans are strawberry and im banana (lets just assume as it is) how can i compare myself to them? yeah, they are so sweet in taste and look damn alluring to not to be eatean but hey, banana isnt that bad right?

Allah s.w.t berfirman “Dan jika kamu menghitung nikmat Allah, nescaya kamu tidak dapat menentukan jumlahnya” (An-Nahl: 18).

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a katanya, Rasulullah SAW bersabda: “Apabila kamu melihat seseorang dikurniakan kelebihan dengan harta melimpah-limpah dan dengan kecantikan, maka lihatlah pula kepada orang yang serba kekurangan”.
(Bukhari)

terang lagi bersuluh sudah dinyatakan dalam alquran untuk bersyukur kan? ahh, untuk apa fikiran-fikiran negatif semua ni. banana banyak kelebihannya tau.sedap juga. yelah, warnanya kuning, tapi alluring juga. murah pulak tu. boleh dapat merata-rata. boleh buat kuih, cekodok, kerepek, pengat aduh sedapnya!!

and after an hour and forty minutes of the waiting,(for the extraction. im at the lab, remember?) alhamdulillah ada minyak keluar. oh lupa pulak, im extracting gaharu for my final year project but man, it is so leceh. remeh. ive never taught that final year can be so depressing. you see, im a lazy bum person. and i hate to read. i entered engineering because i love chemistry(and yes, i suck at other things) and hoping that i did not have to read as much as that biology-course base student did.

impian lah kan?

the thing is, sometimes, (well you can read many-times,all-the-times,always,etc) i felt so hopeless that there are no more bones inside me that wanted to study anymore and that ive lost the thrill feeling that ive get back then when i opened a book. explorings is my thing. dululah, sekarang, i dont know. watching movies, i think?

the fact that i am eager-ed to finished this final year and obtain a very damn good catching salary is amusing. tapi itulah, belajar pun tak habis lagi ye dak? worrying about money and studying 24-7 is tiring.  i pray to allah,  to help me in my way, to ease the path that ive chosen, and to be with me everyday.

i will not says that ive got to see things in a better view from this small occurence cause ill just screw things up the next morning. but to allah, i hope i can see everything in better view every morning. and to be a better me, everyday.